Something That Matters

            I want so badly to write something that matters, something that makes an impact. I have such a desire to put words on a page that cause a stirring in one’s soul. I want to cause somebody to think differently about their world, or about themselves. I long to find the words that will come together and change a life.

            I keep taking out paper to write but I never find the right words to say. It used to come so easily, the ability to pour my soul out on paper. Once upon a time I could pick up a pen, write something meaningful, and hardly have time to even blink. But now, it’s so difficult to decide what to write that I have resorted to writing about not knowing what to write.

            Maybe it’s not about the topic of my writing, perhaps all that matters is that I write down something, even if it’s just a sentence. I’m probably out of practice, but I’m also a different person than when I began a year ago. I can’t write like I did then because I am not her anymore. I’m new, and so is my writing.

            I used to write about my internal wounds and my broken heart. I used to write about my insecurities and my fears. I used to write about my unhappy and afraid heart. I looked at writing as a way to get those feelings out, and to let people know that I needed help, that I was struggling.

            But life is different now. I don’t have to write about my broken heart any longer because my wounds have been healed. I don’t write about my insecurities because I have found that seeking God’s truth about me works better. I don’t write about my unhappy heart because I’m the happiest I have ever been in my life.

            Maybe I’m having such a hard time writing because my subconscious is making me feel guilty for sharing joy. Maybe I think that the only writing that matters is writing about pain and suffering. But my subconscious is wrong.

            Writing about joy is just as important as writing about sorrow. In fact, it may be more important. People need to know that even though suffering happens, joy comes in the morning.

            The joy and happiness I feel today is a testament to God’s faithfulness. He brought me through a storm and has filled my life with peace.  People need to know that their pain has purpose, that God will turn their ashes into beauty. People need to know about the hope of Christ.

            Writing about pain matters. It lets people know they are not alone, it lets people know the depth of human emotion, and it makes an impact. Writing about joy matters, too, especially if its joy that comes after a tough storm. Writing about joy and happiness shows the love of Christ, and shows just how much we matter to God.

            Writing about both sorrow and joy is a beautiful way to display the work of Christ, and one day when I walk through another storm, I will be able to go back and read of how faithful God has been in the past. I will have no doubt in my mind that He will be faithful again.

            I think I have been having so much trouble writing because I couldn’t figure out what God wanted me to say. Today, he is telling me to share about his abundant joy in my life. He wants me to write about how much he has changed my heart. He took my heart of stone and turned it into a heart of thankfulness, and that matters. Transformation matters.

            So I will write about my sorrows, and I will write about my happiness. Through every high and every low, Christ is there with me. I hope my joy impacts others even more so than my pain. I hope my new heart displays Christ more accurately than my broken heart ever did. I hope this joy of the lord will be my strength when the next trial comes my way. Both pain and joy matter, and I will write in such a way that proves it.