New Years Eve 2014

2014 has been a life changing year to say the least. I began the year in a totally different place than where I am ending it. At the beginning, I thought I had it all figured out. I had my plans and I knew exactly how I was going to accomplish them. I had what I thought I wanted and nothing could stand in my way.

            But now on the very last day of the year, I look back and I realize how much has changed. Those plans I had at the beginning got tattered, torn, and thrown out the window. I definitely do not have it all figured out, not even close. I don’t know my future.
            Most days that is something I hate. I hate not knowing what is coming next, not being able to prepare. But 2014 has become a year of growth and learning, and part of that includes learning to trust God. He knows my steps before I take them and He is teaching me to let him have the reigns, to let His will be done.

            I have learned that strength comes in a variety of forms. Sometimes strength is facing an issue head on, tackling the enemy with full force. Sometimes strength is focusing on the good in life and holding your head up, and sometimes strength is allowing yourself to feel the emotions that need to be felt, whether that is anger, happiness, or sadness. Sometimes strength comes in the midst of tears flowing down your cheeks. Sometimes strength is holding your tears in. Strength is multifaceted and is different for each person during any given moment.

            I have also learned what true love looks like. True love does not look like shiny rings, or planned out dates, or lofty gifts. True love doesn’t beg for attention. True love loves right where you’re at. It does not ask you to be someone you are not, but rather meets you at your knees and holds you tight. True love asks no questions and shows up when it’s needed, even in the wee hours of the night. True love forgives when wrong has been done, and does not hold a grudge. True love apologizes when they are wrong. True love pushes you to be better. True love is sad for your sadness and happy for your happiness. True love is not what the movies portray it to be. True love isn’t a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day or a bouquet of flowers. True love is a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry on. True love is a place to rest, and to catch your breath.

            I am sure that 2015 will have its trials, but it will also have its days of happy. I pray that this New Year brings more learning and more strength and love, because without it, I would not be who I am today. I hope that when I look back on what 2015 brings at the end of the year, I can say that I learned just as much.

            I walked into 2014 thinking I had it all, plans and everything. But I am walking out a changed woman. I am walking out of 2014 knowing so much more about who I am and who God is. 2014 has been tough, but it has a purpose. And that purpose is for good.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” --Jeremiah 29:11